A Vast Wing-Jump Conspiracy

Due to the proliferation of cable at the cabin, I got to watch an agility competition and a dog show this weekend.
 
Of course, the agility competition heavily featured Border Collies, the big jerks. You know, they might be fast, but their success in agility is probably due to the fact that most Border Collies are connected, if you know what I mean. I'll probably end up in the drink wearing cement boots for letting this out, but Border Collies are notorious for their mob connections.  You won't see an agility judge anywhere DARE give them a fault. It'd be like signing his own death warrant.  It's a vast Wing-Jump conspiracy. There are two Border Collies in my agility class and they don't seem very smart to me. One is scared of the tunnel, for cripes sake!  I'm only scared of Dawn, and that's because she's big and mean. (Hobie thinks she's all that AND a bag of chips. He'll be singing a different tune when Dawn convinces mom that he has to SIT and STAY and other boring stuff like that!)
 
I'm a little grumpy today.  Hobie was gettin' frisky with everyone at the cabin and people kept saying that HE'S so great and that they'd want to take HIM home, but not me. Well, screw you, then!  I don't want to go to your stinkin' house anyway!
 
Stupid people.