Ellie Totally Wants Me

I went with my peeps today to a CBE picnic. All sorts of hotties were there, including this babe named Ellie.

elliehobie.jpg

As you can see, she was all over me. I can dig it.

Jessica was there with that stupid guy who thinks my thing is small. It was awkward. I kept catching her looking at me, but I didn't want to have to rearrange the face of that stupid guy who thinks my thing is small. He called me a girl at one point, but man, I'm cool. I wanted to kick his ass, but there were ladies present. That's just not gentlemanly.

I was totally into Jason. He's way cool. He shared his Cool Ranch Doritos with me. That's the kind of guy I like. I won't steal his woman from him as long as he keeps handing over the chips. Cookies would work, too. Pretty much anything, actually.

So many hotties, so little time.