Vote for the Poodle!

This just in: A new survey says that if George W. Bush were a dog, he'd be a Labrador Retriever. Meanwhile, John Kerry would be a poodle.

The real question is not which breed of dog would be best suited for leadership (the answer to that question is a resounding "neither" ... everyone knows that Chihuahuas are the most presidential breed of dog), but rather, what type of poodle is Kerry most like? I'm not a fan of the standard poodle. A dog that big should be able to kick the butt of anyone trying to shave its fur into that horrible configuration. Personally, I'm a miniature poodle kind of dog.

And is Bush more like a chocolate Lab, a yellow Lab or a black Lab? This is vital! If he's like a chocolate Lab, he's probably more reckless (a proven fact!), but if he's like a yellow lab, he's probably kind of dim (not quite as proven, but it's my assertion). Do they mean a black Lab? This is important, people!

When you go to the polls this November, really think long and hard about what breed of dog you think could best represent this country. Apparently Chihuahua isn't going to be a choice. (Maybe Nader is most Chihuahua-like ............ Nah.) For argument's sake, let's say Bush is a black Lab and Kerry is a miniature poodle. I know who I'm voting for!