All the Chihuahua news that's fit to print ... and some that's not.
No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks!
Ha! I graduated from Level I today! Check out my graduation photo.
And, as promised, my "senior portrait." When you look at that, can you honestly say you don't want me? I KNEW you did!
In the noble tradition of my lifelong hero, Ryan Seacrest.... Hobie OUT!
Jaime made me a sexy new smoking jacket very similar to the kind Hugh Hefner wears. I am a total play-dog, so it's appropriate.
I think I am going to quickly outgrow this, but I have my eye on a piece of sexy silk leopard-print fabric that will drive the ladies wild!
I've been quite busy this last week. On Monday I met Teresa's dog, Abby. She was pretty hot, but not really my type. I like my bitches blond - like Teresa and ... be still my heart ... Jessica. Anyway, Abby shared her bone with me (Who are we kidding, I just took it from her. Just because she's 38 pounds heavier than me doesn't mean a damn thing when it comes to bones. I've gotta have 'em!). There was another hottie there named Jessica (so many Jessicas, so little time) and we made out for a while. Some guy named Chester thought I was the bomb for stealing Abby's bone. Like I've said before: Bitches (and women) want to be with me, dogs (and men) want to BE me. (I bet he's coveting my sexy new jacket! Too bad. He's not sexy enough to pull it off!)
I went with my peeps today to a CBE picnic. All sorts of hotties were there, including this babe named Ellie.
elliehobie.jpg
As you can see, she was all over me. I can dig it.
Jessica was there with that stupid guy who thinks my thing is small. It was awkward. I kept catching her looking at me, but I didn't want to have to rearrange the face of that stupid guy who thinks my thing is small. He called me a girl at one point, but man, I'm cool. I wanted to kick his ass, but there were ladies present. That's just not gentlemanly.
I was totally into Jason. He's way cool. He shared his Cool Ranch Doritos with me. That's the kind of guy I like. I won't steal his woman from him as long as he keeps handing over the chips. Cookies would work, too. Pretty much anything, actually.
So many hotties, so little time.
I'm gettin' all spiffed up in anticipation of meeting the Babes of CBE. I've already met Jessica (who is as fine as they come), but I'm anxious to meet Chocolate Shirt Girl. She and her boyfriend (not for long, if I have anything to say about it! Guaranteed, she'll fall for me.... they all do) are stoppin' by my peeps' place tomorrow. I'm going to steal Kaya's breath mints tonight and tomorrow so I can share my Hoberific nuzzlin' with her ... and maybe steal a lick of her chocolate-covered shirt...
My campaign to woo the heart of Jessica away from that guy who thought my thing was little is in full force. That guy who thought my thing was little broke his finger this week and won't go to the vet. I told Jessica that I'd go to the vet for her any day. A woman as fine as that is worth a visit to the vet. She gives a dang good head scratching!
All the ladies want me.... who will I choose? Aw girls, there's enough of me to go around...
Hot off the press! Chihuahua dogs are spotted at a PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) protest in Italy!
AND ... if you are going to read only ONE Chihuahua-related news story this year, this is the story to read. Two words: Chihuahua racing.
So I'm walking down the street and some totally hotties come up to me and are like, "Hobie, you are sooooo sexy! If I say you've got a great body, would you hold it against me? Can I check your tag; I wanna see if you were made in heaven! If we looked up "sexy" in the dictionary, you're picture would be there!"
Then they rode their little bikes off into the sunset. And that's how it was.
While I was hanging out on the patio with my peeps, I noticed an extraordinarily handsome dog who appeared to be in my house! I approached him in very threatening manner -- and he responded by approaching ME in a threatening manner! Most indignent, I growled at him and puffed myself up to my most threatening size. But so did he! My peeps thought this was very funny, but I do not see why. How dare such a handsome dog come invade MY territory? And then he started copying me! That is behavior I will not tolerate! So I barked at him! But he did not back down!
Then my peeps let me in the house and he must have run away! He was in the doorway before, but then he was gone. Ha! He was only tough enough to menace me through the glass door! But when the going got tough - BAM, away he runs!
I'll be waiting, Mr. Handsome Dog. Oh yes, I'll be waiting....
Things I do not understand:
1.) How come Kaya's old boyfriend got to pee on the carpet, but when I do I get in trouble? Stupid cat.
2.) How come Kaya gets the run of the house while I'm confined to the kitchen? No fair.
3.) How come my peeps haven't taken me out to strut my stuff lately? I haven't spread any Hoberific lovin' around in a dang long time! What the world needs now, is Hobie, sweet Hobie!
Jaime and Dave have completely updated our Web site! Check it out. I think it looks totally sweet. What do you think?
By the way, I know the Chi info link doesn't work. I'll get my peeps on it ASAP!
After Fudge moved out, I wondered if Hobie was my only friend. That'd be kinda sad.
I don't get to chill with many homies, lately. (For some reason they don't like when I try to bite their faces off... it's weird.) I like Russell, but after I got held back in Advanced Beginner in agility, we didn't get to hang out much. The dogs who are in Intermediate now are OK, but they don't sniff butt as well as Russell. Of course he's all in Advanced now and totally thinks he's better than me. That's a miniature Schnauzer for ya.
But then I remembered Squeaky and Moo-Cow and Crackle-Bird and Sheep (who's always up for a good time). They're a lot quieter than Hobie and they don't steal my treats, either.
My powers continue to astound. My peeps took me out for ice cream tonight because I did such a good job at school. Now if only I could master the housetraining ...
My peeps were expecting company last night so I sprayed some doggie perfume on my bad self. Put a dab behind your ears and the ladies can't get enough. Combine that with overwhelming cuteness and a sexy personality and you're killer, man. Plus, I ate my breath mint and stole Kaya's so I was minty fresh.
Apparently my sweet fragrance wooed the mate of the hottie that came over. He was amazed by my studliness, but then he said he wanted to check out my LITTLE thing! LITTLE?! Grrrr.... It's proportionate to my size, buddy!
His wife was totally into me. I couldn't resist copping a feel, if you know what I mean. She might have protested, but I thought the lady doth protest too much! It was probably just because that guy was around. She was all about the Hobster. Petting my head, rubbin' my ears. I am irresistable to the ladies.
Too bad this site isn't scratch and sniff. Ah, it's just as well. You'd be overwhelmed by my sexiness.
Later, Hobie fans.
I am so sexy. I conned ... I mean, convinced ... Jaime into letting me have the run of the kitchen with Kaya. Now I can totally boss my 'huahua around all day without those lame bars getting in the way. Whatevs, x-pen. Buh-bye.
So I got set free and went over to the "pee pad" and ... you know ... did my bidness. Jaime got super excited and gave me a treat! Dang! If I woulda known that just ... you know ... doing my bidness on the pee pad would get me treats, I woulda ... you know ... did my bidness there a long time ago!
Hopefully tomorrow I'm gonna post a picture of my studly self. Jaime set up a studio in the living room and took some sexy pictures of yours truly. But I'm sorry ladies, I'm taken (pssst.... that was just for Kaya's benefit. You wanna get jiggy, give me a call ...).
Get Out!
Yep. I surprised everybody at agility tonight by mastering the "Get Out" command. Here's how it was ...
... I jumped over a jump and Jaime was like, 5 feet away from the tunnel, but she really wanted me to go to the tunnel so she yelled "Tunnel" and I was all like, wait, you aren't standing by the tunnel and she was like "Get Out" and I was like oh yeah, that means I have to scoot a bit and then I was all like, I see the tunnel! and I ran through it and then Jaime yelled "Tire!" and I was all like, dude, you are like 5 feet from the tire, and she yelled "Get Out" and I totally realized she wanted me to scoot left and the jump through the tire and I did and she was all like "Kaya you are totally awesome" and I was like, duh!
In other Chihuahua news, Hobie's x-pen has been dismantled. So now he's got the run of the kitchen with me. I'm not too sure how I feel about that. He's totally bossy.
Kaya's ex-boyfriend finally moved out. He was really cramping my style. The guy's like all mad that I took over in the lovin' department. He was always howling about how she was his pup and to back off and stuff. I'da kicked his butt, but dude, he was at least two bills! Neck as thick as a tree trunk. All macho and stuff.
That inter-species thing was kinda kinky. But it's a'ight; I like chickies who are into experimentation.
So I met some more hotties today while walkin' 'round the 'hood. They were all like, "That dog looks like he cost a lot of bling-bling. He is too sexy!" OK, maybe she didn't SAY the sexy part, but she was thinking it, oh yes, she was thinking it.
But I was a little annoyed with my peeps. They lost my leash and had to use a purse strap to walk me tonight. Hobie is nobody's purse!
Dang. I gotta go steal the squeaky squirrel from Kaya. Later!
Jaime's really sad. I don't like when Jaime's sad. It makes me sad.
Fudge has moved out. We all knew it was going to happen some day. I mean, a cat gets to a certain age and he decides he wants a place of his own. But Jaime's really shook up. I am too. I miss him grooming my head. Hobie isn't very good at it.
I miss Fudge.
So what did I learn at "obedience" school this week?
1.) If I flip out and not even care, I get squirted in the face with water. I am beginning to understand why Kaya doesn't like Dawn. She was the supplier of the squirting water. Grr... I mean.... I'm not even THINKING about growling!
2.) Heeling is stupid.
3.) The owners of big dogs are dumb. Some lady thought it would be cute to shove her dog in my face. Apparently she thinks I'm cute when I'm mad. Apparently she also thinks her dog would be better looking if his face was rearranged. She let him shove his ugly mug at me later and got scolded by Dawn. Maybe I like her afterall.
4.) The clicker is the best thing ever.
I was tick infested this weekend. It kinda sucked. Haha... Get it? ... Maybe not.
Anyway, I had to have a tick bath to kill all the ticks I brought home from the cabin. But now I'm tick-free. So you can pet me again. Really. My fur is extra soft from the special conditioners in my tick-shampoo. So, you know, feel free to bend over and scratch my ears, rub my head and scritch my tummy. It's all good.
PS: My grandpa proved he's smarter than, well... pretty much everyone... by suggesting a tick-deterring-item to rid me of ticks rather than hand-picking the dozens of ticks that infested me. That was great ... just great. I truly enjoyed having ticks pulled off me. ...
