The Haunted Mansion

reviewed by Dave

Call it the Tao of Disney. For every movie like the Pirates of the Caribbean, there is a corresponding movie like The Haunted Mansion.

The fact that Disney released Pirates of the Caribbean just this year further exacerbates the problems with Haunted Mansion, because we have something to directly compare it to.

Pirates, you may remember, is a brilliantly casted popcorn movie with strong performances, good special effects, solid direction, and a rather clever story that plays with the conventions of the pirate movie genre. It’s not flawless, but it is great fun.

Then we have The Haunted Mansion, which boils down to an unfunny Eddie Murphy sleepwalking his way through, appropriately enough, a tired movie bursting with clichéd storytelling. Along the way, Eddie learns an important lesson about not taking his family for granted. Isn’t that sweet?

Speaking of sweet, I didn’t realize going in that The Haunted Mansion was directed by Rob Minkoff, the director of Stuart Little, a film so cloying that it should come with a warning label for diabetics. If I’d known Minkoff was responsible for The Haunted Mansion, I would have refused to enter the theater.

And I wouldn’t have missed out on anything except some barely adequate special effects.

The best family movies entertain both children and adults. Look no further than Pixar’s long line of successful animated features for several brilliant examples of this kind of appeal. The Haunted Mansion fails at both – it’s far too stupid for adults, but the inclusion of murder and suicide as major plot points would make me hesitate to take a young child to see it.

If you’re looking for a good family film, buy the Finding Nemo DVD instead.