About Schmidt

reviewed by Jaime

Top Ten Things I Hate About About Schmidt

10. The bazillion shots of the Woodmen Insurance Company building.

9. Everything was so real – I can watch real in my own house without turning on the television.

8. When the movie is not busy being not funny, it alternates between being not interesting, not engaging, and not worth watching.

7. This movie was described as blisteringly funny. I’ve got blisters all right – blisters from trying to turn the DVD player off!

6. The gratuitous use of the comb-over. The comb-over is the most offensive hairstyle on the planet, followed closely by the mullet (which also figures prominently in this movie).

5. The Hummel figurines – no respectable movie features Hummel figurines. Proposed future movie-watching litmus test: If Hummel figurines figure into the plot of a movie in any way, do not check out that movie.

4. Kathy Bates’ breasts. Period.

3. Jack Nicholson – because if he wasn’t on the cover, I probably wouldn’t have checked it out.

2. You may think it’s only 2 hours, but it’s actually 7200 seconds, and you are aware of each second that slowly passes by.

1. It makes retirement look worse than working, and that really makes me want to keep living.