Hot Wet American Summer

reviewed by Dave

If there were a hole in the Bottom of the Barrel that allowed the most vile movies ever made to somehow get out of the barrel, seep into the soil, and contaminate the water supply, we'd all be drinking Hot Wet American Summer-laced water.

I've never really understood the phrase "funny as hell." I could see if it were being used sarcastically, because there couldn't really be a place any unfunnier than hell. Unless it's wherever you happen to be when watching Hot Wet American Summer.

Don't rent this movie because Jeneane Garofalo and David Hyde Pierce are billed as starring in the movie. Don't rent this movie because both Newsweek and Entertainment Weekly gave it positive reviews. Don't even rent this movie if you need another movie for a two-for-one movie rental deal. Pick a movie that you know you already hate and watch that one instead. It will not be worse than Hot Wet American Summer.

Need more dissuading? Here goes:

Garafalo and Pierce are completely wasted here. Garofalo further proves that her movie career started and ended with The Truth About Cats and Dogs, and Pierce had better stick to Frasier if this is what can be expected of him. That's all you really need to know about the cast, because the rest of it is full of B-movie actors you haven't heard of. Apparently these people were all in a comedy troupe, and this film is the result of those people getting together. Surely, there must be a law we can enact to prevent these people from ever assembling again.

Much of the film is said to be improvised, and you can tell, because about 99 percent of the jokes just fall flat. I really can't think of anything else this not funny. If you took the worst Saturday Night Live skits you've ever seen and pieced them together into a 90 minute movie, you'd have some idea of what this is. Except you'd still have a much better cast than Hot Wet American Summer, so that's not really fair to SNL.

There are a few minutes of almost-humor here, where you might actually be tempted to smile, or at least smirk a little, but you won't be able to because your face will be frozen into a permanent grimace from all the scarringly bad bits that bomb.

It's so painfully bad that it's difficult to even rip on it. I've seen a lot of movies, and there are only a select handful that were so bad they almost made me completely sour on the idea of ever watching a movie again. Hot Wet American Summer is on that list.