Tremors 3

reviewed by Dave

It's time for a return to that special place, the place where angels fear to tread, the Bottom of the Barrel.

Tonight's special selection falls into the "we-knew-better-but-watched-it-anyway" category. It is the sadistically ironically-named Tremors 3: Back to Perfection.

Really, that title is about the closest we get to this little flick being clever. Perfection, you see, is the name of the town where all the Tremors movies are set. There is perhaps a not-so-subtle hint there that this movie is a return to the atmospherically high standards of the first film. Except the standards of the first film weren't that high, anyway.

Yes, Virginia, this IS a bad sign.

A brief history: The first Tremors movie starred Kevin Bacon and featured a supporting role by Michael Gross (a.k.a. the dad on Family Ties). It wasn't exactly high drama, but the movie's tongue was firmly planted in its cheek, and the result was a surprisingly fun, campy monster movie.

We rented Tremors 2 a few years ago when it hit the video stores (direct-to-video, just like Tremors 3). Kevin Bacon had moved on, and the only new idea was that the monsters had evolved into another form that shrieked. In a flash of brilliant creativity, these creatures were cleverly dubbed "shriekers."

So now we're up to Tremors 3. How do you top shrieking monsters called shriekers? Why how about a new evolution that involves flight. But they don't just have wings, because then they'd probably be called something sedate like "fliers." No, for these creatures to take flight they shoot flames out of their butts. In what can only be considered some sort of sick, twisted homage to the films of Roger Corman, these creatures are christened "Ass Blasters."

Great. That's just great. The box never said anything about Ass Blasters.

If that weren't enough, we get the strained beginnings of an impractical romance, a storyline that is actually summed up quite nicely by the phrase "Ass Blaster," and a tiredness to the proceedings that really makes you wonder why anybody cares. Even during the few moments when someone could potentially die, there isn't really any emotion about any of this conveyed by the actors.

Frankly, I think Michael Gross just kind of phoned this one in, and that's saying something, friend.